It has been almost one year since that fateful day.... I never imagined that when I kissed and hugged you and we joked for a bit, that those were our final moments together, those were your final words. We were waiting patiently to hear that everything went well. but as time flew on we knew something went wrong. They wheeled you past the door in a blur, we heard you cry out and that is when time stood still. Life in that instant forever changed. We were the last people in the waiting room, waiting.... waiting.
When I walked into the ICU, you were flanked from above by two angels whom I recognized, I knew then that time was short. No one really knew why I reacted as I did.. but my world crushed me in that moment... to see my father, my superman, waiting for his turn to ascend into heaven. Those six days were the most painful days of all of my existence. I stayed by your side, held your hand and spoke to you... You could barely respond, but I understood as if it were clear as crystal. I knew you wanted to see J and A, so I sent for them...
We 5 were all together in the room with you that day... you responded to J and A... J promised to take care of your girls and for you to not worry. A told you how much she loves her Pa, forever. When they left that afternoon, mom and I watched as you slipped further under. By morning we heard the update and final prognosis. You waited to hear from and see from your vantage point J and A before you began your full journey.
Two days later you were no longer hooked up to anything, but resting as comfortable as we could provide. You waited for my to leave that morning, before you has one final private moment with mom. She told me you turned your head, opened your eyes and focused on hers... one single tear fell from your eye, as you sighed a deep sigh, mom told her she loves you and it is okay... you closed your eyes and left us. She said she watched you leave your physical body... we know you are safe and well now.
I came to see you, so did J. It was the hardest thing to see, to experience.. to see you there, but you were not really there. I held your hand and kissed your forehead for almost an hour. I did not want to leave you... I wanted you back.
Now you visit us, you speak to me and you still have fun with us. I know you are well now, I know you are watching over us... that star in the sky. I love you dad... I miss you more than I can really put into words. I want to hug you one more time, see your smile and hold your hand. One day I will get that chance... but for now, take care of those who are there with you and tell them all they are loved.
